fun runnin'

Last summer two of my girlfriends and I decided we would start a new hobby - running in 5k races.  While we are totally committed to doing this new thing together we are also three busy moms.  So we've only done two races that worked for all three of our schedules.  But we hope to continue this new leisurely pursuit and have already signed up for a couple races this summer.

 

 

November 2012

Me, Loree and Sara.

This race was fun because it was on ISU campus - my old stomping ground. 

 

Our goal for this race was to simply improve our time from the first race.  I will say this - there wasn't much room to go any slower - getting faster was our only option :-)  I'm proud to say we reached our goal - woohoo!  This has been such a fun thing to do with friends; we encouraged each other and pushed each other to the finish. 

 

*Noteworthy - I was 8 weeks pregnant at this race which is nothing like being 8 months pregnant, but I'll still check mark that in a special category.

before it's all gone

I really want it gone. 

Melted. 

Go away snow.

Welcome spring!

But while it is still here, I had better get some pictures posted of some of our winter fun. 

She'd rather eat it.

It was clean and fresh. :)

Building snowmen.

Our snow family. 

This little snow creature was named the snow dog.  Apparently this little snow family had a pet doggy.  Hannah would get so excited in the days following the building of the snow family.  She would pet him, hug him and kiss him.  He has melted and she still asks where he is.   

We've got to take the help while we can get it. 

When your brother is outside playing and you get tired, just wander into the garage and see what you can find.  Hannah pushed the stroller out herself and climbed in. 

We did have fun enjoying the snow this winter, but we are ready for sunshine, green grass, playing outside and going for walks! Mother Nature, please send spring soon!

Koen and kid stories

Before Uncle Koen left to head home to Belgium, we attempted a picture with all of the kids. 

Attempted. 

Key word.

Hannah was having NONE OF IT. 

Maybe she knew Uncle Koen was leaving...

Either way, I think Koen was surprised on how many tries it takes to get a decent picture when eight little people are involved and even then, sometimes you still don't get a decent picture :)  

In the weeks following Ann's death I've been reminded of the resiliency of kids.  They say things that make so much sense and brings me peace, and sometimes tears, too.  

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The first story occurred while celebrating Christmas...

We were in the bathroom at Brent's parent's house today and he's pulling up his undies & jeans when he randomly asks "is Aunt Ann is still sick?" I told him "yes, but hopefully she is getting better because she's been taking a lot of medicine." He said, "did she have to have shots?" "Yep, lots of shots." He grimaced and said "I'm going to pray for her right now." So in the middle of pulling on his pants he closes his eyes, clenches his little fists and says "dear God, please make Aunt Ann not sick anymore and not have any more shots."

I emailed that story to Ann on December 23rd and this was her response:

"Oh i want to give him a big hug soooooo bad right now!

Lov ya

Ann"

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While driving through the post office drop-off Lucas asked who the cards were for.  I told him they were thank you notes for people who did nice things when Ann died.  At the sound of hearing that Hannah speaks up and says,"Where's Ducky?"  This girl loves that duck and to me, that means she loves Aunt Ann and Uncle Koen.

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There is a picture of Ann and Koen on our refrigerator.  It's been there months, maybe a year.  Today, Hannah noticed it and said, "KOEN! KOEN!"

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Randomly, in the car, "When we get to heaven we get to give hugs and kisses to Aunt Ann and all of our Great Pa's."

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~ Ann ~

Ann Maria Feldpausch-Symens

April 18, 1971

February 16, 2013

 

 

Ann graduated from Central DeWitt High School in 1989. She was an active member of 4-H and FFA while growing up on the family farm north of DeWitt. In 1993, she graduated from Iowa State University with a Bachelor of Science Degree in Agricultural Education. Ann taught Ag Education at Andrew High School. She received a second degree from Clarke University with a Bachelor of Arts in Computer Information Systems. Ann moved to Peoria, Illinois, in 2000 and worked for Caterpillar Logistics. She earned her Masters of Science Degree in Computer Information Systems from University of Phoenix in 2003.

 Ann married Koen Symens of Leuven, Belgium, on April 27, 2005, in Peoria. Ann moved to Leuven and continued to work for Caterpillar Logistics.  Ann was a loving wife, daughter, sister and aunt. She loved time spent with her family. Ann and Koen were avid international travelers, and especially enjoyed Cape Town, South Africa. Ann had a beautiful contagious smile. She was very courageous, adventurous, and was full hearted. Ann also enjoyed reading, following sporting events especially Iowa State, her pets and riding motorcycles.

She will be lovingly remembered and sadly missed by her loving husband of nearly eight years, Koen; her parents, Richard and Mary Feldpausch; siblings, Brian (Jen), Karen (Dominic), Teresa (Brent); grandma, Alta Badtram; father-in-law and mother-in-law, Stef and Sylvia Symens, a sister-in-law, Ann (Rudi) VanOpdorp and brother-in-law Dirk (Valerie) Symens all of Antwerp, Belgium; thirteen nieces and nephews.

 

Ann was the smarty pants of the family.  She loved learning, was a spelling bee champ, and history buff.  During some of their many travels, Ann and Koen would take in historical sites like WWII places.  Koen told the story that she would sometimes correct the "official" tour guides because she knew more than they did.

She was the first to do most things in our family... leading the way for four Feldpausch kids to be successful students, good leaders, community minded and college graduates. 

 

Always the oldest, but never the tallest. 

Lucas and Aunt Ann

 

Goofing around - Abby, Lucas, Nick and Aunt Ann

Ann, Koen, Teresa (pregnant with Hannah), Lucas

One true love.

You will never hear a love story like theirs. 

The week Brent and I were in Belgium turned out to be Ann's last week.  We were with her during the days and Koen would usually only leave to step out to make a phone call, or once a day to go home and shower/change clothes.  When we moved her to the Palliative Care Unit Koen was able to spend the night with her. They rolled in another hospital bed, dropped the sides and sort of made a queen bed.  At least they could sleep next to each other, something they hadn't done in months.  Anyway, when Koen would step out of the room, for even just a few moments, Ann seemed aware of it, she would have more restless moments.  When he was there, his voice alone seemed to calm her.  His gentle words to her, their teamwork, hand holding and kisses was its own kind of fairy tale.  She trusted him, he was her cheerleader and advocate.

Yellow Ducky made his way to the U.S. with Koen.  Within seconds of seeing Ducky, Hannah was connected.  That was very special for me.  Ann and Koen's last trip to the U.S. was in August 2010 when I was pregnant with Hannah.  So Ann never got the chance to meet Hannah in person.  This is still very hard for me to swallow.  There is nothing a parent is more proud of than "showing off" their kids.  I only got to do that with pictures and via Face Time.  When Hannah was so interested in Ducky, I couldn't help but find some peace in that.  She carried him around, gave him lots of love at the funeral and asked about him on Sunday (he was packed to head back to Leuven).

Hannah also loved Uncle Koen; I think they have a special bond.

Upon arriving Friday, Lucas went straight for Koen and hugged his legs tight.  Koen needed the hug and Lucas knew just what to do.  It makes my heart melt. 

 

Everything was very nice for Ann's Iowa funeral.  The visitation was an hour longer than planned because so many people came to pay their respects.  There was another hour of greeting people before the funeral the next morning.  The funeral sermon was perfect, the nieces and nephews all had a part, and the music was beautiful.  

 

Saying goodbye to Ann was dreadful. 

My heart aches. 

There will be good days and sad ones. 

 

It's only been a couple of weeks but I forget that I can't text or email her anytime I want. (With the time difference that was the easiest way to communicate for us.)  Time will help all of us heal, but thankfully we have lots of memories to fill our hearts and share with our kids. 

life happens

I've been reminded in the last month that I am not in control of life. 

Ann's cancer took charge at the end of January - it had spread to her brain. While things were getting worse for her I was waiting for my next OB appointment to see if my doctor would clear me to travel. Brent and I wanted to get to Belgium as fast as possible.

At the same time my dad had been having some out of the ordinary things with his heart that caused concern for a cardiologist to suggest he needed an angiogram.

And my best friend's mom passed away very suddenly.

Sadness and fear filled me up.

My OB said baby and I were perfectly healthy to travel. My dad's tests all came back okay. Erin and her family are filled with the faith their mom had - God will provide.

Brent and I booked tickets and arranged care for the kids and left three days later.  We sat with Koen and talked, had discussions and made decisions for Ann's care, we cried and we laughed.  Ann passed away on Saturday, February 16, 2013.  I am glad we were there.  She was only 41 and her courageous battle was just four months long.

My parents returned from Belgium to news that my grandpa was in the hospital.  Six days after Ann died, my grandfather passed away. 

Psalm 116: 1-2: I love the LORD because he hears and answers my prayers. Because he bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I have breath.

I love the picture that God, in all His glory, is bending down to listen to us. Even when we don’t know what to say, He hears us.

 

Ann and Koen

My grandparents with some of their 16 great grandchildren.

 

My Valentines

I love my husband. I would tell you that any day of the year. There are certainly days where we are more in love than other days but through thick and thin there is always love.

He was very persistent that we come to Belgium to see my sister. My second visit, his first. I had such mixed emotions about this trip. My brother and I had a great visit in November. I have pleasant memories of that trip. She is nearing the end of her fight with this cancer. It has consumed much of her body, most recently her brain, and I just didn't know if I had the strength to see her. Brent never thought twice about us coming and supporting her and Koen. We are in Belgium as I write this. While there are very difficult and sad moments, I'm so glad to be here. And I'm glad Brent is with me. He thinks about things clearly and has such a tender, caring heart.

Lucas. When I saw the Valentine heart in the hallway at daycare, I was so happy for what he loves. His name on left.

Hannah colored this picture for Aunt Ann. She looks so big and older than two. She was so proud and sat still while I took the photo - and that's an achievement for this moving & shaking kind of girl.

These are my Valentines. I'm so blessed and so loved!